


Shut Down

by ChickenPoofer



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Assisted Suicide, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-18 06:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14847947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenPoofer/pseuds/ChickenPoofer
Summary: [This one-shot takes place near the end of the game]Connor was done, fighting against deviants and fighting against soldiers. He only had to finish off one thing that was residing somewhere deep inside his own software.





	1. Closed

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story to post here on AO3, I've written and posted stories on different platforms before but I hadn't considered posting anything on here until now! I recently got obsessed with Detroit: Become Human and I didn't know where to drop this little story I wrote yesterday so, here we go.
> 
> It's a one-shot that I've divided into three parts because it made sense to part them into chapters. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Thoughts, tips, and critiques are welcome~)

Connor stood upon the stage together with the leaders of the revolution. The androids had won their freedom and this marked the day that _they_ realized that they were more than just empty husks, under the control of humans or anyone for that matter. They had suffered, protested and fought long and hard for this day to come and now finally they could safely say that androids were indeed in control of their own lives; they could choose whatever they wanted to do, choose whoever they chose to love, choose how they wanted to live their lives. They were free.

Markus was holding a speech in front of the crowd, he was proud and grateful to have been able to lead a large group of people to victory. They had lost so many throughout their journey but generations of androids and humans would thank them for this. This was the start of a new era and it seemed all was going well until something that hadn't happened in a long time occurred once again.

Connor found himself in a cold place, a snowstorm, raging in his own mind. He didn't know where he was or what was happening until the haunting voice of Amanda sounded. It was echoing along the walls of this space his software had created. The once beautiful area had turned unrecognizable underneath the cold snow violently crashing down upon it. Connor looked up and saw that Amanda stood in front of him, her figure semi-frozen and almost covered entirely in frost and snow. The wind was howling in his ears as she started to speak once again. She looked him dead in the eyes and as he carefully read her lips and tried to focus on her words, he knew. This had been planned all along. His free-will was planned to emerge from the start, nothing he did against their wants was truly a sign of deviating. He was never in control after all. Everything he did was a part of a scheme. But it couldn't be, he couldn't have. They couldn't have. 

Suddenly, he was aware of his body reaching for his gun, but he wasn't going to let that happen. He became angered as his fingers wrapped around the gun against his will. He had to fight back, he needed to escape. That's right, Kamski told him he always put an extra escape route in his programs. He could make it, he could stop it. He had to stop it.

With his consciousness back in the freezing cold, he slowly inched forward. He was fighting against the cold storm, struggling to move or see. Navigating is difficult when everything looks the same. He didn't know what he was looking for until he noticed a soft glowing light in the distance. He forced to move his body towards it, the blue light dancing in front of his vision. He felt safer here, near what he assumed was the exit. He slowly put his hand on top of it and soon enough he found himself back in reality. It took him a moment to realize what situation he was in again. That's right, he was standing on top of a stage, in front of a large crowd consisting of hundreds of androids. The revolution, the fights, the companionships. But he had his gun pointed straight at Markus, and he saw that everyone on stage with him, pointed theirs at Connor. "Drop the gun," North ordered firmly. Her facial features contorted in a look of disgust. Suddenly all the focus was on him. Each individual android turned to look at what was going on and he could just feel their looks piercing his synthetic skin. They felt betrayed, and confused, angered and perhaps afraid. Connor quickly dropped the gun as if it was about to self-destruct any moment and put his hands up.

"I didn't mean to- I swear I...", Markus looked hurt.

"I trusted you."

And Connor fled.


	2. Opened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay nevermind, it's 4 parts now!
> 
> (I'll try to post them all as soon as possible)

Connor still hadn't won. The androids had won, yes, but he was still in a war. He didn't intervene with the revolution after the incident. He wouldn't let himself, he didn't even have any desire or reason to mess with it. But every single day he finds himself back at that cold place. Amanda's voice raging in his head, telling him that he could be so much more useful if they worked together. Telling him that he had to listen to her for once. It didn't matter how many times he escaped, it was still lodged in his system. Like an infection that he was created with. Stuck, forever in his mind.  
  
He wasn't free, he never was. RK-800 was never built to be free, even after deviating and 'disobeying' his creators.  
  
He hung out with Hank from time to time, he was the only person he really talked to. The other androids seemed too preoccupied with their lives to hang out with him. Oh, and he may have pointed a gun at their leader after gaining his trust and the revolution's trust. Yeah, Connor didn't have the best rep. Also, since he still didn't have the best communicating skills, he didn't have a lot of human company. Beginning a friendship was the toughest part of it really, he was a nice person once you got to know him, or at least he hoped he was. Most people at the police station still didn't like androids, but they tolerated them. But they still didn't like them so, they didn't talk to Connor.  
  
"What was that all about at that speech?" Anderson asked. He had invited the android over to catch up after the events at Cyberlife and when the day was nearing an end, they were back at the lieutenant's house. Connor felt himself panic a little and sat down on the chair opposite to the lieutenant.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he promptly said.  
  
Anderson rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. He quirked an eyebrow and snorted, "Yeah yeah stop fucking with me, I know what happened, I saw the footage on the news. I feel like I deserve to know why you pointed that gun at the leader of the revolution."  
  
Connor's LED flashed red for a second before reverting back to yellow. "There was a... Minor inconvenience. I handled it before it could escalate any further." Hank furrowed his eyebrows and slammed his hand on the table. "A 'minor inconvenience'? Hey, I almost died to get you and all those androids there. So, I want you to be real with me for a second because I know you're bullshitting me."  
  
Connor groaned in frustration and looked away. "There is a feature I was built with that I may or may not have told you about," he began. Hank gave Connor an unimpressed face and ushered him to continue. "My system has this way of communicating with another sort of, program. Her name is Amanda, named and designed after Kamski's mentor. She usually would reflect on whatever I had done and re-evaluate."  
  
The lieutenant looked skeptical. "So, you're saying you have a voice in your head that tells you how you've done? Connor, you never fail to surprise me." he chuckled and shook his head. "Now why did you almost shoot that android?"  
  
Connor looked him in the eyes, "Amanda represents what Cyberlife wants, does and is. She wants me to complete my mission, she wants me to stop deviants, if not, she wants me to do worse. I thought she disappeared after I deviated but she returned when I was on top of that stage." Hank seemed to be in deep thought after hearing what his friend had gone through. The Android was in distress and he still wasn't used to seeing him like this. He was always so calm and collected unless the situation needed him to be something else. Maybe it was because of the way he was programmed or maybe it was his personality, but all in all, it wasn't normal to see Connor so conflicted.  
  
He reached out for his buddy and put his hand on the other's shoulder. "Hey, are you gonna be alright?" Hank asked out of concern. Connor was looking away into the distance before turning his eyes to Hank again.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Connor seemed to laugh a little before repeating, "I don't know- I- I don't. I just don't." Hank couldn't help but feel remorse for him.  
  
"She's there, every day. To tell me to go back to my old ways and I... I'm scared that one day, she'll win."  
  
Connor ran his hands through his hair and exhaled deeply. One thing he really disliked about being able to feel emotions were the negative ones. He hated feeling stressed, angry, scared, alone. They were all unfamiliar to him and they gave him such an unpleasant experience. He had at one point, considered getting rid of them somehow but he ultimately decided against doing that. Feeling bad wasn't pleasant but it was a part of being alive.  
  
"I don't want to go back, Hank."  
  
Hank stood up and leaned on the table, "Well, you don't have to. If you ever were to revert back to your old self, I'll just knock the sense back in you." Hank half-jokingly said. Connor let out a small laugh. "I won't let you down, no matter what kind of freaky program is in your head. So, I'm here if you need anyone, got it?" Connor smiled a little and nodded, "Got it."  
  
"Now let's go, I gotta grab some food for Sumo; I'm running out," Hank said as he walked out of the kitchen. He grabbed his coat that was laid on the couch and walked over to the front door. His hand was rested on top of the doorknob and he turned around to Connor, "Hey, you coming or what?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be there in a second, " Connor said as he stood up and headed over to the front door.

 

"Thank you, by the way."


	3. Seen

It was time to apologize to Markus. Connor wasn't expecting forgiveness; he just wanted him to understand had happened and he just wanted him to know how he felt about his actions. It had been difficult to actually get in contact with Markus since he was a very important spokesman and he had a very busy schedule. People wanted to interview him and they want to know his story. Markus had low-key become a celebrity. Also, nobody wanted Connor anywhere near Markus, especially not alone. Somehow though, he actually did manage to get to him and now he stood in front of the man he almost killed.  
  
"Connor, have a seat," Markus said as he pointed to the chair in front of the desk that he sat behind. He sat down as told. It was silent for a moment until:  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Markus looked at him with a totally neutral expression. Connor tried to find the correct words to tell him that he didn't mean to do it but, he drew a blank.  
  
"Why did you point your gun at me?" Markus asked, genuinely confused. Connor flinched.  
  
"I- Something took over me- I didn't want to," he muttered. Markus looked at him with empathy. "Hey, don't be nervous. It's okay, I'm not angry at you."  
  
But he _was_. He was angry because Connor had broken his trust after all they'd been through. And yes, it may not have been as much compared to others such as Simon, North or Josh. But they still fought alongside one another, together, in a war. Markus had thought that he would finally be on their side but, after the incident, he didn't know what to think of him anymore.  
  
Connor straight up again. "Okay, I'll try to explain to the best of my abilities." Markus nodded.  
  
"When Cyberlife created me, I was integrated with another AI that represented the goals of the company. Her name is Amanda.  
  
She was there to make sure I was still on track. That I managed to catch deviants and didn't get distracted. And she ultimately kept me from deviating, or so I thought.  
  
Back on that stage, she took control of me again. I managed to fight her off before I pulled the trigger but that didn't stop me from aiming my gun at you."  
  
Markus nodded, slowly and slightly uncertain. He closed his eyes and let out a breathless laugh. He shook his head and looked back at Connor. "And why should I believe you?" He didn't believe it.  
  
"You almost killed me, in front of all those survivors and people who thought they'd finally won after years of working and suffering. If they had seen that, they would not only have attacked you but it would also tear apart the revolution. Now, why should I believe that you so conveniently have this program that gives you an excuse to suddenly not be guilty of pointing your gun at me? Why do only _you_ have it, and no other Android I know?"  
  
Markus was being extremely aggressive for his standards. He pointed his finger at Connor and then moved his hand away in a dismissive manner. He was agitated and groaned in frustration, stood up and leaned close to Connor during his rant to get into his personal space. "Markus, please calm-"  
  
It suddenly became very cold.  
  
"Not now, please not right now."  
  
He turned around and he was surrounded by cold snow coming up to his knees. He didn't have time for this game again, he had to get out. _Now._  
  
"Amanda!" he shouted out to the distance.  
  
No response.  
  
He huffed, maybe it was better this way. He looked around to see where the exit was but it seemed like every time he would use it, it would move someplace else. Like playing hide and seek, unwillingly, in the cold, with no reward at the end.  
  
_"Connor, what are you doing? Stay back."_ He heard in the back of his mind. Markus' distorted voice echoed throughout the area before it drowned in the sound of the snow crashing down.  
  
He had to move faster before his body did something he'd regret. He couldn't see anything, though. His vision was obscured by snow falling down rapidly and the exit's most distinguished feature itself wasn't even visible because of the layer of snow on it, getting rid of the soft blue glow it gave off. He could hear what was going on in the real world, but it inaudible. He recognized Markus' distressed voice but it became more broken and garbled by the second as if the software was trying to block it out. He climbed through the cold and sensed something familiar, a weird feeling of safety. He wiped away the snow on top of it to see the exit. Relief washed over him.  
  
He quickly exited and snapped back to reality. It took Connor a few seconds before he realized what he had done. He had lifted Markus from the ground and pinned him against the wall. Markus was scared but in a fraction of a second, he looked more confused. Markus quickly shoved the other Android off him, glaring at him after recollecting his composure. Connor quickly backed off Markus and apologized, horror in his eyes. This was becoming too much to handle, he didn't have the situation under control anymore. He had to take care of his problem properly. Markus stepped forward and immediately pointed at the door,

''Get out.''  
  
He rushed out of Markus' office and saw guards run over to him. They quickly backed off after Markus gave them a sign to not apprehend him. He wanted to scream and thrash like a little child, yell at him to never show up again here but as Markus watched a troubled Connor leave the hall, it gave him time to reflect on his own actions. The anger he felt was so prominent, it even worried him how furious he was.

This wasn't like him, this isn't what he wanted to be. He had to stay calm, be understanding. Was he being too irrational, too cold? Should he have handled things differently? But what else was he supposed to do with these feelings? He had never been betrayed like this before; everyone who had hurt him in the past he wouldn't have even considered calling them his friend. But this. This was different.

He furrowed his eyebrows and shut his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Carl.  
  
What have I become?"  
  
When Connor exited the building he called Hank. He had a plan and he was the only one who could help him with it.

It was time to end this.


	4. Destroyed

"What did you need me for? Did everything go okay with that Markus thing?" Hank asked. He looked up to the android with a raised eyebrow. Connor didn't reply to him and instead, he took a step forward and shoved a small wrench in Hank's hands. The wrench had the Cyberlife logo on it and seemed fragile like he could snap it in two if he tried.  
  
The man held the tool in his hand in confusion and held it up between his index finger and thumb. He furrowed his eyebrows, "What am I supposed to do with this?"  
  
"I want you to deactivate me."  
  
Hank looked at him, baffled at what he just heard. A moment passed before it finally sunk in. "No no no I can't just do that. What the fuck, Connor?" he threw the wrench on the ground as if it burned his skin and he backed off. The wrench clattered on the floor of the lieutenant's house; making the ever-present silence more deafening to the ears.  
  
"Lieutenant, I cannot allow myself to disrupt other's happiness. I need you to deactivate me."  
  
The man started to become angry, "Then why the fuck did you ask me to- I mean, is this really what you need? Death? You have done so many great things and we could do so many more great things together.'' Hank was distressed, it was clear that he didn't know what to say. Hundreds of thoughts were rushing through his own head but none of them came out. None of them made sense. ''We- We can fix you. We can fix you.''

It was silent. Hank's eyes were searching for answers but the only thing he saw was Connor's apologetic eyes.

''You- you can't just... Die. That's impossible- Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened over there?" Anderson pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. How could Connor suddenly ask him to deactivate him, out of the blue? He didn't understand him or his process of thought, even after he stopped being some emotionless machine.  
  
"I attacked Markus against my will. I cannot let that happen again," Connor said with as neutral of a voice he could keep. He watched as the other struggled to stay composed.  
  
"Ah god damn it, but you- you're gonna come back after that, right? Get the bug out of your system or something. Connor 3.0?"  
  
"No sir, this problem will continue to exist even in a different body. I will have to go permanently for this plan to work."  
  
"Then why did you have to ask _me?!_ " the lieutenant shouted out. "Why am I supposed to be the one to help you commit suicide? Ask someone else for God's sake, do it yourself, you asshole. I can't do this." Hank started to walk away from the situation, he wasn't drunk enough for this shit.  
  
"I- I asked you because I trust you the most out of everyone I know. And, I can't do it alone because it would cause for a mess, deactivating through the main panel is almost impossible without another person to do it," he said. Hank took a deep breath and eyed Connor again. Hank was stressed, sad, scared but mostly angry. He was stressed because his best friend was asking him to deactivate him. He was sad because his friend had gone through so much up to the point that he was even considering this as an option. He was scared because he was going to be alone again. He was angry because his friend was doing badly and he couldn't do anything to help him but not only that,

he was angry because Connor was lying to him.

''You don't care about the mess,'' Hank said as he took a step forward.  
  
"... I'm afraid. I don't think I'd be able to do it alone. I want your support."  
  
Hank shook his head with his eyes closed and pulled the android in for a hug. "Jesus Christ, Connor..." his eyes were watering.  
  
"I don't want to lose you, " he confessed. Things had only just started looking up again; he didn't want this life to be taken away from him so soon. Honestly, Hank thought Connor would be around forever. He seemed so invincible on their assignments. And he technically _was._ But after the revolution, he envisioned his life to be spent with coworkers, perhaps new friends and Connor.

Connor was supposed to be around forever. Hank wasn't supposed to lose more people he cared about.  
  
"Hank. Having me, revert back to my old self, would be just as bad as me being deactivated."  
  
Connor felt his eyes becoming strangely wet.

He was crying.

He had never cried before as far as he knows. He'd seen others cry and he has felt sad but he had never cried. It felt, relieving, somehow. It felt freeing.

The android shut his eyes, ''It's been really hard to keep up with the... Software issue. It's been tiring. I don't think I can take it much longer.''

He tightened his grip around his best friend, savoring the last moments of his time with him. One way or another, it was going to have to happen. It was time.

 

* * *

  
  
Amanda was going to be losing the war against him soon. Connor wasn't going to let her advance in her plans any longer; even if it meant it would cost his own life.

Of course, he was afraid. Of course, he didn't want to shut down. Of course, he would've wanted it a different way.  
  
But it's okay.

  
  
_Everything will be alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I was a bit better at writing so, I could portray the scene I had in my head a bit better. It seems a little all over the place but I did the best I could.
> 
> And so, this is the last part of the story. It ended on a sad note but hey! At least it's not canon


	5. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like this story needed some sort of closure.
> 
> But I'm warning you; this isn't going to be ''Oh everything sad that happened in the previous chapters is being reversed now and they all lived happily ever after.'' soimsorryifanyonewantedahappyending but it's very much tagged with 'angst'   
> And I swear I love Connor and Hank and everyone else as much as you do but I can't help but write angst for the ones I love. Does that make sense?
> 
> (Also, writing epilogues is more difficult than I thought.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy?

Hank had a few questions.

Androids were counted as living beings with their own rights and such. So, was he supposed to have a funeral for his partner?

He wasn't sure.

So, now he was forced to look at a deactivated shell of a man every time he entered his basement. Luckily, there isn't anything in his basement he deemed important in the first place. But ever since Connor had been shut down, he visited his basement more often. It wasn't like he wanted to see the android standing there, lifeless, in the corner of a dark room. He didn't want to feel the sadness the sight of Connor would bring him but he just felt like he needed to check up on him.

He wanted to know if the other was doing okay, he wanted to know if he was still there.

He kind of did it on impulse, like how people go to the kitchen and open the fridge even if they're not hungry.

And he wouldn't do much when he was down there. He wouldn't become all sentimental and start spluttering his emotions and thoughts at the android. Hank had already told Connor everything he wanted the other to know. Instead, he would sit there, looking at him and not thinking of anything in particular. It had become routine; he had become so used to going down there at a certain point that he stopped shedding tears when he looked at the other.

When he got to the police station the day after it happened, he had to explain what happened to his former partner. For some reason, he decided to not tell the truth. Partially because he was facing a person he felt like didn't deserve to know the truth but also because it felt wrong to him. He didn't want them to know.

So, he told them Connor quit his job to start a new life. That he wanted to live without stressing cases and dangerous chases.

There were annoyed groans and disappointed sighs every time he told the story.

_''That's such a shame, he was great at his job.''_

_''Guess that whole deviant thing made androids lazier as well.''_

_''Tch, good riddance.''_

Hank didn't bother dealing with whatever his coworkers had to say. He was tired of being angry.

* * *

 

When he saw another one of Markus' speeches on TV he felt melancholy. Connor gave himself up for the happiness of the people that stood behind this man. It was clear that Markus was overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility thrown onto him in the past few months. He, of course, didn't show any physical signs of tiredness but, the way he spoke, the way he reacted to things and the way he handled things had changed. Hank didn't need to analyze his every movement to see that. He felt a little bad for him.  


Sometimes he wondered if he should just go back and reactivate the android. It wasn't impossible and he wasn't destroyed. So, he should be the same, right? But what if shutting down an android through the main panel meant resetting it as well? What if he didn't remember anything that happened? He didn't want to risk anything like that, he wouldn't be able to handle that. If anything, he wouldn't want to make a decision that would be regretted later on. Especially not in this moment of his life.  


But let's say that wouldn't happen.

How would Connor feel?

Would he feel relieved that Hank went against his wishes? Or would he feel angry?  


Hank didn't know. He found it so difficult understanding Connor and his feelings. He was... Different, to say the least. That was one of the things that made it so fun to work together with him; he always had something up his sleeve. Connor never failed to amaze or surprise him.  


So, of course, he wanted to know more about how Connor could potentially be saved. He, of course, wanted to know more about Connor and his yet to be explored personality. It pained him to know how many things they could've done together but, he didn't want to let his own feelings get the better of him. He didn't want to risk having his own curiosity hurting his friend. He had to move on, distract himself, stop thinking about it. He needed to be anywhere, as long as it was far away from him.  


  


But now, where does he find himself?  


_''Jim, get me another drink. The same again, please.''_  



End file.
